Seriously dealing with a stalker- The Advice Advocates #5


Ruthie Light and Willow Bowen

Hello, it is the Advice Advocates back again to provide you with this week’s article. Today, we will be giving advice to an individual that has an ongoing issue with somebody that is constantly being creepy and, overall, harassing her. She had also explained in her message that many girls in CAHS have had very similar experiences with this certain person, so if you happen to be one of the people that this has happened to as well, please do not be afraid to let someone know! Anyway, keep reading to hear our advice to this individual, especially if you are going through something like this or know someone who is going through something like this. 

To begin, the message that we received states, “Hi Advice Advocates! I need your advice about a guy who has been harassing me lately. He stares at me and follows me around during school, and it makes me very uncomfortable. He has sexually harassed me and other girls in the past, but staring and following isn’t exactly a crime, so I don’t know what to do. Do you have any advice on how to get him to leave me alone?” 

Obviously, the actions this person describes in the message are definitely serious and should be shared to someone that you trust and genuinely believe can help you. Taking the first step and actually letting someone know what is going on can be very frustrating and difficult, so we are not trying to pressure you into doing something that you are still uncomfortable doing. However, even just letting someone know what is happening to you can lift a major weight off of your shoulders and help you feel safer. To start, try to have a conversation with an authority at the school or any trusted adult. In the situation where the adults that may not take you seriously and completely sweep over the situation, which unfortunately happens quite often, you could let a friend know and have him/her walk with you to the places that you are most often targeted at. You could even ask a classmate that is going to the same area as you if they want to walk with you to your class if none of your friends are heading that way. By doing this, your classmates don’t even need to know what is going on, it will just look like you want someone to walk with.

Another thing that you can do to prevent the situation from going further is to contact the parent(s)/guardian(s) of your attacker and tell them what has been going on regarding their child. Ways that you could do this are reaching out directly from you (message, call, meeting, etc.) or you could have a trusted adult/friend reach out for you (school administrators/ principals/ staff, parent, family member, therapist, etc.). Reaching out to the parent(s)/ guardian(s) of the person that is harassing you can make a significant difference in the situation because they can directly sit down and tell their child that what they’re doing is wrong and needs to be put to an end. The only problem with doing this is that a lot of parents tend to favor their child and be in denial over the whole issue, which does nothing but let the attacker continue harassing you and other students. At the end of the day, if all fails you could contact the police, whether it is a school security officer or directly through the police station. There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting a higher authority know about issues you are experiencing, especially if you are being sexually harassed (which is a legitimate crime).

Overall, if you or a person you know is going through something like this, please take our advice and seek help (if you are comfortable doing so). Situations like this can be more serious than you may think they are, and seeking help can completely flip a situation around for the better.

If you or someone you know needs help with an issue of any kind, DM our instagram @adviceadvocates to receive anonymous advice!