**Spoilers to the first book “if he had been with me”**
This book is not a continuation of the first book, but the alternating point of views of Finny and those closest to him. This story is the same, but told through three separate lenses that all explore how grief is sudden and striking. This is not an end, it is a retelling of a future lost and a new one created.
When I started this book I knew it was going to be sad because Finny was already dead. The author even stated that she wasn’t going to write a sequel and in her author’s note describes that Finny had already died twice in her mind, and even says, “I’m sorry, he’s dead; I can’t bring him back.” However, fans needed closure. The book starts off in Finny’s point of view, finally showing readers the truth to his actions over the years and the context of the tragic accident that ended his life. The worst part of the book is that we finally see potential for happiness within Finny and Autumn’s relationship, we are shown a future. And then within the same day of their lives that entire future is torn apart.
The next point of view is Jack’s, Finny’s best friend, who comes from a large family and struggles with guilt and blaming the others involved in the day Finny died. He explores his “duties” as the best friend of the deceased and explains how he had to choose to keep moving forward with his future. As their coach had said, “The only way out is through.” This push and drive was very different than how Autumn reacted, how deep her denial was rooted.
Autumn’s point of view was gray. She was stuck in between the grief of Finny leaving her behind and the new knowledge gained after her attempt. She had copious amounts of support around her and while she was not capable of “pushing through” right away, she did survive. She grows into the person she is without Finny and finally is capable of living in the reality in which he is not coming back.
While this story was never going to have a “happy” ending, it did leave me content. The first book left me, and so many others, doubting reality and full of confusion. However, when I finally got to the end of this one (which felt like years, although it was just three days total) a hard lesson had finally sunk in. The hurt of loss will never go away, but eventually you will be able to think of that person and focus on the happiness and joy they brought while they were alive.
