Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches are not a vibe


Mr. McBriar

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Hannah Smrcka, Editor

This is not a sandwich of my childhood that I would ever want to eat again. Don’t get me wrong: bread, jelly, and peanut butter are all good separately, but together? Ew.

Peanut butter or jam on toast is lovely, but peanuts and grapes (or any jam fruit) do NOT go together in any sane mind. The tastes of the individual flavors should have never mixed together in the first place; it’s like mixing cashews and lemons. It makes zero sense and it doesn’t taste good.

They’re so sticky, too. Little kids with sticky fingers probably got that way from a PB&J. They can be very messy even once constructed. Have you ever seen a child make a PB&J? They use the same knife for both jars and mix the two in and out.

Spreading peanut butter on plain bread is a nightmare and getting the right ratio of peanut butter to jam is almost a science. Everyone has their own ratio they prefer it at, too.

They also leave a bad aftertaste of two things that shouldn’t mix. It’s not green eggs and ham. There isn’t something wonderful under its oddities. It is piano strings and door nails in the same box. It shouldn’t exist.

They also never seem to sit right in the stomach and they just do not vibe with the mind, body, or soul. So can we ditch the sandwich? There are so many better options in the year 2020. Your body is your temple. I don’t know about you, but I cannot imagine anyone eating a PB&J in a temple.