It’s finally Halloween, and I get to place my radioactive pumpkins out on the front porch. In case you’re wondering how they are radioactive, I dropped them into the ravine. Now let me tell you the story of how I retrieved my radioactive pumpkins.

Let me start by saying that in 1892 a chemical testing plant blew up near my house and filled the creek with Radium. The creek now flows with chemicals. Some other background information you might need is that pumpkins are really expensive here in the year 3005, and I managed to get twelve at an underground swap meet. I was so excited to put them out by my front porch step this year until the truck I was carrying them in opened up and they all ended up in the creek. Now, I know what you’re thinking, what the heck was I going to do? It cost me $4,000 for those pumpkins, and I was not about to let them go to waste. So, I put on my freshly bought hazmat suit and jumped into that creek. The only problem is, I tore a hole in the side and now my hazmat suit was filling up with Radium water, and that’s so dangerous! Luckily I was able to get it off in time, but I was still drowning in Radon. I was able to save just six of the pumpkins, which is half, so fifty percent.  I was so excited to chop them up into jack-o’-lanterns and get them outside. In the first one I carved the power plant as that is the beginning of my pumpkin story. In the second, I carved the dangerous creek with the pumpkins rolling into it, and in number three I carved me in my hazmat suit. For number four I carved me rolling in the Radon water, and for number five I carved my rescued pumpkins. In the sixth and final one, I carved them all carved on my doorstep.

I think it was a good idea, and I cannot wait for all of the trick-or-treaters to see my glowing, radioactive pumpkins this Halloween. I know that not only will they be surprised to see the borderline extinct vegetable, but they will also be excited to see that they’re glowing. I just hope that they don’t hang around too long because they will start glowing too!