Brendan Davis was a wee young lad from Ireland. He lived with his best friend, a kitten named Joshua. Joshua was a larger cat who couldn’t even walk, so it was concerning when he went missing one cold morning. Brendan looked all throughout his humble abode, but he couldn’t find any traces of Joshua. Brendan ran outside, before collapsing and crying out to the world, “Why! Why must you leave me Joshua!” After regaining his footing, Brendan spotted Joshua’s collar on the ground, alongside some pizza, Joshua’s favorite food. Brendan wiped the tears from his eyes, and sprinted to Walmart. If he knew anything about cats, it’s that the best way to find them is to pretend to be one.
Brendan bought a white kitty costume from the kids aisle, even though he was 47 at the time. The employees all gave him odd looks, but understood once he explained the Joshua situation. Brendan quickly changed into his new costume, and started walking down the nearby alleyways. Maybe some street cats stole Joshua? Brendan spotted a mean looking cat sitting on a dumpster, almost as if it was keeping watch. Brendan used his super secret sneaky skills to get past this furry foe.
Soon, he saw an open manhole with loud meows coming from the inside. He sprinted in and saw a horde of cats all gathering around a podium made of old boxes. He knew he would have to be one with his new furry persona if he wanted to go undetected. Brendan slowly waltzed his way to the center of the crowd, all the while trying to figure out what on earth the podium was for. After about three minutes, Joshua leaped onto the podium and began to speak in perfect English.
“Hello all my fellow cats! Today we meet to discuss our plans of taking over the world!”
Hearing this, Brendan ripped his suit off and flew towards Joshua. “You can’t do this!” Brendan cried.
“We must!” a horde of kittens shouted. “We don’t have a home, so we shall make this Earth our terrain.”
Brendan suddenly had a solution. “You don’t have to do this,” he said, “I can take you in!”
After some thinking, the cats agreed to go with Brendan back home. Once they arrived, Brendan took great care of the cats. From that day on, Brendan had an army of cats, which he planned to use to take over Afghanistan.
