As I look in the mirror, I don’t even recognize myself. I am covered with the image of who I’m supposed to be. Who everyone expects me to be. As long as I can remember I have lived this lifestyle, I knew one day I would have to fulfill my duties and represent my family as a debutante. For some reason, after all the preparation my whole life, I am still unready to be presented to society. I am not yet ready to become a wife, a mother, a household lady. If society knew me, the real me, I would be rejected and cause great harm to my respectable family name.
I hear my mother’s footsteps coming up the stairs and snap back into reality. I must go out and present myself as a desirable maiden. I must receive an offer of marriage to make my family proud. Mother walks into the room and as she sees me her smile begins to gleam.
“You look exquisite my darling, Beatrice.”
“Thank you Mother,” I say trying to lift the spirit of my voice. She can see right through my attempt, and frowns.
“Beatrice, we talked about this. Your childish days are over. It is time you grow up and make a life for yourself. You must find a wealthy man tonight and steal his interest. In no way is my daughter going to be another rejection like that Montgomery girl.”
I sit there and say nothing back and mother grows more furious and storms out the door, slamming it on her way out. Alice Montgomery, she was my best friend growing up. She was like an older sister to me. Our families used to be in close regards to each other. We would sit in my room and speak of how we would run away together and find true love of our own. We wouldn’t care that we would be poor if we just had a hardworking husband, and loving children to take care of, rather than the snobby, stuck-up men who we are made to marry in order to go along with our parent’s wishes.
Alice left the day of her coming out. Apparently, she was called out and never walked down. Her family rushed to her dressing room and she was nowhere to be found. The only thing left of her was an old flower barrette that she would wear in her hair everyday since she was young. As I look in the mirror my eyes travel up to that barrette that her family had given me only a couple days ago. They had run into me at the market and told me they wanted me to have it to remember her by. Before I could thank them I got dragged away by my mother, for I was never to speak to that family ever again since the incident.
Sometimes I wish I could just do what Alice did, possibly I could find her and we would live the life we had always talked and dreamed of, But I know how that would affect my family and their reputation. I could never do that to them. Their social status would plummet to the bottom, and I know how hard my father worked for us to get where we are today.
All of a sudden, I hear faint music coming from the hallway. This means it is time to start lining up with the other ladies. I make my way out the door and to the hallway. The woman in charge of the debutante ball is lining everyone up by last name. For many of these women it is the best day of their lives; it is time they are presented to society, to be made future wives to the wealthy men that will make them mothers some day. They have been looking forward to this day their whole lives. This explains why Not many of them seem to get along with me too well.
As the ladies and I start our march of death and distress down the stairs I feel a tug on my arm causing my body to fling towards the door next to me. The same hand pulls me into the dark room. I know it’s a familiar hand, I just can’t make it out who this mysterious person in the dark is. Suddenly, a hand-held lamp lights, and my father’s face appears. I let my guard down because he is the one man in this world that I trust the most. I have always had a closer-knit relationship with him, opposed to other girls of my age that grew up close to their mothers by learning their teachings and ways. Father has taught me so many things, so many real life things. He is the wisest man I know. Today however, he said the most strange thing I have ever heard him say.
“Go Bea,” he said in a monotone voice. “You will be happy once you are gone. Go find New Haven, Go find Alice.”
“But what would everyone sa-”
“Enough dear Beatrice! I have sat back watching you fight this war with your mother your whole life. If you go through with this you will never be your true self again. You deserve freedom, sweet girl.”
I’ve always known he has seen me for who I truly am, but I didn’t think he would make this sacrifice for me. To throw away our family’s good name to the ground, the name he worked so hard to build up. He’s doing this all for me.
“But will I see you again?”
“Don’t you worry about that right now, Beatrice I will figure out a way to come and visit you. You have to go now, this is your last chance at a free life.”
I always knew he was wise. I give him a big hug as he hands me the lamp and points out the second story window, leading to a small hidden ladder he must have placed there before the ball.
“I love you father, you must come find me,” I whisper as I make my quick escape.
as I reach the bottom of the ladder I look up to see Father staring right back at me as he says,
“I love you too, sweet Bea.”
We hold gazes for a long second before I turn around and run towards the woods for my escape. My escape to New Haven, a place where anyone can be who they are without judgment from other families or societies.
