I heard a saying one time that goes, “The only person who feels the pain of resentment, is the one who holds it.” That’s my reason for writing this, because I agree with this quote. The only reason people really decide not to forgive someone for doing something wrong, whether it be to someone else or to you, is because they think they have a hold on the other person. They think they can control someone’s emotions, how they feel about situations just because they don’t forgive the other person. However, “lack of forgiveness has a hold on you.” 

I believe that people need to learn how to truly forgive, and everybody should forgive everyone for everything they do wrong. This includes yourself. You should forgive yourself, for every single thing you do wrong as well. Going back to the quote that started the article, “the only person who feels the pain of resentment, is the one who holds it.” The pain of resentment is the “hold” I mentioned previously, how people think they have a hold on people by not forgiving them. When you don’t forgive someone for whatever they do, I promise almost every single time they don’t feel hurt from it. People often think that not forgiving someone makes them feel resentment, which also often causes pain to the one who is holding that resentment. However, most of the time the only person who feels any resentment for not forgiving someone is the person who refuses to forgive them. Which means, the only person who feels the pain of not forgiving someone, is the person who refuses to forgive. 

So, how do you learn to forgive someone, regardless of what they do? I think people just need to realize that not forgiving someone only will cause pain to you. When people begin to realize that, it’ll begin to be much easier to forgive everyone. People don’t care that you don’t forgive them, again you will be the only person who feels that pain. I wanted to be as personal as possible in this article, so I want to be honest as well. I believe people just need to realize that nobody cares but you, and that should be enough to just forgive and let go. 

On the topic of letting go, there is a common quote saying, “Forgive and forget.” However, this I strongly disagree with. I agree to always forgive, but never, ever forget. Forgiving and forgetting often go together as commons, but they should always remain separate. “Forgiveness allows you to move forward wholly, but forgetting will keep you in a cycle of now and never enable you to evolve. Never forgetting keeps you from making bad investments in the future.” -Kris Fannin. This quote is saying that forgiving someone allows you to move forward, but forgetting keeps you in a cycle of making the same mistakes over and over again. However, if you forgive but never forget, you learn to never make the same mistake. Like using your past lack of forgiveness as a lesson to be better in the future. 

Overall, everybody should forgive everyone for every little thing. Every big thing as well; no matter how severe it is, everyone should always learn to forgive every single mistake. Learn to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they made an honest mistake, and that is always okay. Also, remember to learn from your mistakes. Maybe it wasn’t their fault at all, and you were the person who really messed up.