One fateful day, on November 9, 2024, there was a special party being held. This party was to celebrate the 15th birthday of an unspecified man whose name may or may not be Aidan Gluvna. After a long day jam packed with loads of party activities, the attendees were exhausted, and ready to go home and get some sleep. One of these attendees was absolutely thrilled to leave. His name was Emmett LaRoe. Emmett was a very good man who really, really hated birthday parties for no apparent reason. There was a reason, however, and this reason made his hatred absolutely justified. There was a curse in his bloodline, which ensured that every male would take a tumble off a porch during a birthday party. Emmett had heard the embarrassing stories of his great grandfathers plunging face-first into piles of dirt. He wanted to make sure it never happened to him.
Emmett had only attended the party as a way to get over his fears and finally conquer the generational curse once and for all. As the guests started flowing out of the doors, Emmett had realized he would have to face the porch soon. He became soaked in sweat from the mere thought of those wretched, wooden stairs. He began to doubt his capability of overcoming the curse when he realized the home had security cameras installed. This wouldn’t typically be an issue, but it was faced directly towards the porch. Were they trying to catch him slipping up, or was this a mere coincidence? These questions, along with many more, raced through Emmett’s head. Could he actually do this?
Emmett tried to delay his eventual encounter with the porch by staying at the party as long as possible. Even though every guest had left, Emmett began drinking punch, and playing video games by himself. Aidan came downstairs after brushing his teeth, and looked at Emmett with a perplexed look on his face. After pondering what Emmett could possibly be doing, he decided to ask for himself.
“Emmett,” Aidan said, “why are you still here? Everyone else left 30 minutes ago.”
Emmett promptly told him about his phobia of porches, which was rooted in the curse. Aidan said, “Emmett that’s nonsense! Curses aren’t real, and even if they are, why would there be a weird birthday porch curse placed on your family?” Emmett was doubtful at first, but began taking Aidan’s statement into consideration. Had his family lied about the curse in the first place? He had never seen such an incident occur before.
Now disillusioned, Emmett marched right to Aidan’s front door, finally ready to face his irrational fear. Emmett thanked Aidan, before opening the door and taking his first step onto the porch. He felt uneasy, but knew nothing bad would happen. The curse wasn’t real after all. Emmett leaned his head through the opened door, and told Aidan happy birthday one final time. After he had been thanked, and they both said their goodbyes, Emmett began making his way towards the steps. He had a vision in his head, subtle foreshadowing if you will, about him falling off the porch directly in front of the camera. He passed the feeling off as anxiety, and realized he would be okay if he took things slow.
As his foot dangled above the first step, Emmett felt a sense of freedom. He was going against his family by going to the party. His foot struck the step. Nothing bad happened. He was standing. He lowered his other foot to the step below. Nothing bad happened. He was standing. Waves of relief flushed over Emmett as he realized the curse actually was fake. Emmett began going quicker than before. Emmett’s foot lowered to the final step, but it didn’t feel the touch of the wooden step. In fact, it didn’t feel the touch of anything. Emmett began to slip. It looked as if he was a dolphin, elegantly diving into the ocean. Emmett, however, wasn’t a dolphin, and this most definitely wasn’t the ocean.
He felt frozen in the air, as if his life was buffering like a video. He slowly began his descent to the cold, hard ground below. He realized he should have never doubted his family, and gone against their wishes. The curse was real and it was about to hit him like a truck, or, I guess like a pile of dirt. Along with this realization, came the smack of his face against the ground. He had looked back to see Aidan staring through the door, with his mouth wide open in shock. Not only was the curse shocking, but this was also the most elegant thing Aidan had ever seen. A tear fell from his eye as he ran back inside to process what he just witnessed.
“So much for friends helping each other,” Emmett said aloud.
After laying on the ground for a few minutes, Emmett finally stood up, but immediately dropped to his knees. He raised his fists towards the sky and began shouting. “Why, oh why,” Emmett cried into the darkness above. Emmett lowered his fist, and smashed it into the ground. Tears flowed down Emmett’s face as he thought about the traumatic events he had just experienced. Emmett suddenly got back on his feet, and wiped the tears from his eyes. He stood, staring at the spot where his body once lay, before swiftly turning around, and sprinting home.
