When Elise was 13 years old, her mother passed away. She was driving home after a day of work at the hospital when a drunk driver swerved into her lane and hit her. Elise had already been in bed that night and was abruptly awakened by her dad yelling at her to get in the car. Obviously, Elise had no idea what was going on and was confused as to where they would be going at almost midnight. “Fine, stay here then!” he yelled. Her dad got in the car, slammed the door, and drove off, leaving Elise standing on the porch alone. She had no idea what was going on or what she should do. She went inside and grabbed her phone to call her dad. As soon as she pushed the call button, she heard her dad’s ringtone. She followed the noise to the kitchen and saw a small light on the counter. This worried her even more. She wasn’t sure exactly what time her mom would be home because she was always asleep before she got back. She knew her mom would wake her up to let her know what was going on, so she decided to try to go back to sleep until her mom got home. Knowing that her mom would be home soon brought her some peace about the situation, which allowed her to fall asleep.
Elise’s mother never came home that night, or ever again. Her dad had gotten a hold of one of the neighbors using a phone at the hospital in the morning. The neighbor knocked on Elise’s door before the sun started coming up. They drove her to the hospital, with little explanation of what happened. Elise walked into the hospital alone, with no idea of what she was supposed to do. A female receptionist saw the look of bewilderment on Elise’s face and asked her why she was there.
“I..I don’t know,” she muttered.
“Do you need to see a nurse?” the receptionist asked, confusion in her voice.
“No.. I… my neighbor drove me here,” she whispered. Her face was pale and her hands were shaking.
“Why did they drive you here? Where are your parents?” the receptionist asked, questions racing through her mind.
With tears in her eyes, Elise mumbled, “I… my dad. He.. he woke me up last night, yelling for me to get in the car. I asked him why and he drove away without me. I called him but he left his phone. I.. I waited for my mom to get home and I fell asleep. I woke up to my neighbor knocking on the door. My parents weren’t home and she told me that my dad called her to drive me here.”
The receptionist’s puzzled face caused tears to run down Elise’s face. “I’m scared and I don’t know what’s going on,” she cried.
Elise woke up in a small seating area, two nurses standing over her. She rubbed her eyes, hoping that somehow this had all been a terrible dream. She wanted to be laying in her bed at home peacefully, knowing that her mom and dad were just a room away, and would always be there for her. When she opened her eyes again, and the nurses were still there, she burst into tears. One of the nurses set a cup of water down on the side table beside Elise. They said some things to her that she didn’t hear. She couldn’t think of anything besides the fact that she had just lost her mother. She felt so guilty that she hadn’t gotten in the car with her dad that night. It was something she never stopped regretting.
Elise looked over to see her father sitting in a room speaking with someone who she could tell worked at the hospital. Her dad was angry, she could tell he was crying, and his face was red. He slammed his fists down on the table, yelling something that Elise couldn’t hear through the door. She watched him throw himself down in his chair and cover his face with his hands. His entire body was shaking and his legs were moving up and down simultaneously.
After what felt like no time at all and also forever at the same time, Elise’s dad came out of the room. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and she had her head down. She could hear him breathing fast, deep breaths. He didn’t comfort her. He just told her they were leaving and walked toward the elevator. Elise got up and followed. Again, she was confused but made no effort to ask any questions, she just kept walking and continued to cry. They drove home in silence. When they arrived home, they sat in the car. They didn’t look or talk to each other. Elise was still in complete shock. She slowly opened the car door and got out. She started to walk to the house when her dad pulled out of the driveway and left. Again, Elise was left all alone.
After her mother’s death, Elise barely saw her dad anymore. He would come home drunk and wouldn’t come out of his bedroom for more than thirty minutes. She had to grieve alone and take care of herself at just thirteen years. She tried so many times to help her father stop drinking. She made countless calls to different people and places who she thought might be able to help, and she tried to talk to him herself, but her efforts just seemed to make things worse. One of the times she tried to talk to her father, he got really upset. He started slamming things down on the counter and threw a plate across the kitchen. It smashed against the wall and shattered. Elise ran to her room. She packed all of her belongings that she could carry and left. She walked to her grandmother’s house and never came back. Elise’s grandma took care of her until she left for college. Her father never reached out or made any effort to rekindle their relationship. He continued to drink extreme amounts of alcohol every day and was fired from multiple jobs. He couldn’t even take care of himself, let alone his daughter.
By the time Elise was in college, her father had only gotten worse. One day she got a call from her grandmother saying that her dad had been arrested for driving under the influence and reckless endangerment. Elise thought that by going to college out of state, she could escape from the memories of her hometown. She realized that she could never escape from what she had gone through and it would always be a part of her. This phone call devastated her. Not because her dad was arrested, but because he had become just like the person that killed her mom. She didn’t understand how he could let himself get to that point. She knew how much her mother’s death affected her father and it was the reason he started drinking so heavily, but how could he become that person? Elise could never answer that question, and neither could her father.
Elise had graduated from college and gotten a full time job by the time her dad got out of jail. He had stopped drinking and felt extremely guilty for getting as bad as he had gotten. He had driven his own daughter away and ruined his life. He started sending her letters at her grandmothers house, which Elise wouldn’t even open. She simply threw them away when she came home to visit and pushed the thought from her mind. Her dad had hurt her and she didn’t want to hear what he had to say. He started leaving voicemails on her grandmother’s phone. Elise’s grandma tried to convince her to at least listen to the voicemails or read the letters, but she refused. She didn’t care what she had to say.
After a couple of years of persistent letters, Elise was to be married. Her grandmother wanted Elise’s father to be there, but she didn’t want to see him. She told Elise that she would regret her decision for the rest of her life, but she didn’t want to be reminded of what her father had done and how little he cared about her.
Little did Elise know, but her father had become very sick. He had been diagnosed with throat cancer which was linked to his excessive alcohol intake. He had completely turned his life around and deeply regretted what he had done. He wanted to fix things with his daughter before it was too late. He knew he wasn’t going to make it much longer. Elise’s grandmother had given him minimal information about what was going on in Elise’s life. She told him that Elise had graduated high school and college, but never mentioned anything about getting married. Elise’s grandma knew that one day Elise would regret her decision of not having her father at her wedding, especially considering that her father had told her grandmother about his sickness. He asked her not to tell Elise, and she respected his wishes.
Elise’s grandmother had met up with her father on several occasions. She witnessed how much better he was doing and how desperately he wanted to see his daughter again. She had tried to convince Elise incessantly to at least speak with her dad, but she refused. A week before the wedding, Elise’s grandma couldn’t bear to see her granddaughter refuse to see her father any longer and told Elise how disappointed she was in her and how it wasn’t right for her to completely ignore her dad and try to erase him from her memory. Whether she liked it or not, he played an important role in her life at one point, and he loved her even if she didn’t want to believe it. Elise became very upset and felt betrayed by her grandmother.
A few days after the wedding, Elise’s dad passed away. Her grandmother called her, but Elise was still hurt and didn’t pick up the phone. Her grandma left a voicemail explaining what had happened and told her that she was sending her a package. She apologized for hurting her and told Elise that she hoped she could understand why she said those things and would forgive her. Elise was devastated. Her father had gotten better and completely stopped consuming alcohol. He turned his life completely around and just wanted to speak with her at least one time to apologize. He had gotten sick and passed away. Elise felt terrible for what she had done. She hadn’t even given him a chance to explain himself. She didn’t want anything to do with him and now he was gone.
A few more days went by, which were filled with deep regret. A package was delivered to Elise’s doorstep. She brought it inside, and opened it, revealing all of the letters her father had sent her. Her grandmother had removed them from the garbage and saved them for a day when Elise would come around to the idea of forgiving her father. Now it was too late. Elise would never be able to forgive him and bring him peace. She spent the rest of the day reading every letter. Each one was harder to get through than the last. She sat in silence crying as she realized how much her father had cared for her and how terribly he felt for what he had done.
Elise was never the same after that day. She always remembered to hear people out and to think about what they are going through and why they might have done something. She was much quicker to forgive people and she never forgot what had happened. She realized how important it was to forgive people of their wrongdoings no matter how hard it may be.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. – Matthew 6:14
