When I was 12, my grandmother gave me a musical carousel for Christmas, telling me that when she passes in the future it would be a reminder of her

I hated it

I boxed it up and stored it away

When I was 13, my grandmother gave me a snow globe with the saying “I love you to the moon and back”

I hated it

I boxed it up and stored it away

When I was 15, my grandmother gave me a necklace but to me the stone was too big so I didn’t wear it

I lost it

I never looked for it

When I was 17, I watched my grandmother die slowly on her bed while she couldn’t move

I gave up

I was not okay

When I was 17, one month after her passing, I had put on a sparkly black dress and couldn’t find jewelry. Still in heartbreak I wanted to tell my grandma everything that was going on. I opened my bathroom drawer and as if she heard me, there was the necklace with the big stone

I wore it

She was with me

When I was 17, five months after she died, I had redone my room. Still wishing I could have her around. As I go through my closet I find a box.

I took out the carousel

I took out the snow globe

They are my most prized possessions now

I did not understand then what my grandmother meant with her words, but I do now as I turn 18 and she’s no longer here to see me grow I look over at the two symbols of my grandmothers love, and I feel she is always around.