It was the middle of summer and the sun beat down

sweat dripped down my face as it always would

due to the heat and my weak tolerance I could never handle it

I didn’t have very many friends and only seemed to be friends with an older high schooler

I didn’t realize it but I would make more friends that season

As the year went by and life continued I met you

we became really close friends and yet something always felt off

I had hard times throughout these past few years but you were there

waiting and helping even though it didn’t seem like much

you seemed unattached and distant always

The loss of someone close to me changed the way I went about things

yet I still held onto the fact that you helped

it was only a bit but you still did and seemed to still care

we walked and talked for days and after that it became awhile before I heard from you

when I finally did, it seemed rocky and unstable

that disappeared overtime and it also started a relationship that I cherished

The way you’d smile, the way you’d laugh, the way you’d make me feel was unlike any other

everything that you did I loved with everything that I had and every single thing that I could give

there was not a single thing that I saw about you that I thought was even the slightest bit bad

my view on how the world worked was uplifted and seemed to change for good or so I thought

I saw the world in you and saw only the good things

I helped you regardless if it hurt me or if it seemed like a waste of time to you

you finally got to the point where you decided to tell me your problems

I finally felt like I helped, felt that I was good enough for you or anyone

Soon after everything dissipated

you stopped talking to me and always turned to others

there was always a lack of truth in the way you spoke

if I did hear some it would never be the truth, just twisted lies

I eventually wanted to be recognized and gain that sense of being good enough again

it never seemed to phase you though, the persistence that I put out

it was never enough to be recognized by you

One day you seemingly had enough of it and ended things between us

I was shocked and didn’t know a single thing besides “it’s okay”

you and I ended and after that you moved on without a second glance

you moved on without a pinch of regret and I was stuck

Stuck feeling as though there was no chance of me feeling what I did again

but as time went on there was no change in the way I looked, acted, and was

I slowly realized something, I acted much brighter when you were there

that was love, that love left and didn’t seem to return

I was left with one realization

that I would never love that way again and never seemed to be loved as much as I was

even though it might of all been a lie…